Archive for October, 2009
How not to get attacked by a zombie
Posted by Eric Bandholz in Ramblings on October 28, 2009
For this Halloween special I would like to dedicate this post to one of the most important topics out there. Generally my topics are about self improvement in the business world or just general things going on with my personal life, but this blog post can save your life! Read along to find the 5 steps needed to stay safe from zombies this Halloween. You may have not known that I was listed #3 on Zombie Fancy’s top feared human list for the past two years.
- Carry a weapon – Chances are if you are getting attacked by a zombie you will most likely survive if you have a weapon. We would recommend a sawed off shotgun, a machete, and at the least a baseball bat. Remember, when zombie’s attack they are going for your brains so try to effectively remove their jaw and their brain consuming features will be rendered useless.
- Set out a trap – This is like preventative medicine. It’s going to be better to stop a zombie before they ever see you than to risk a one on one battle with a weapon. There are a lot of options out there, but by far the best option is to nail a giant blue tarp to your property and fill it with fly paper goo. In the middle put some spaghetti with red sauce and a giant sign that reads “BRAINS!” The next morning you will awake to find your zombies stuck to the fly paper tarp. Use above weapons after that. *note* you may also get harmless critters stuck to your trap.
- Be defensive – Look, zombie killing is a serious matter and shouldn’t be taken lightly. One thing you should always do is not to attack until you are absolutely sure it’s a zombie. Typical signs are wrinkly people with a limp that are moaning “brains.” If you are on the offense you may end up attacking the elderly or someone with cerebral palsy. It’s not worth the risk.
- Don’t hang out in cemeteries - This is a no brainer. If you want to avoid zombies the worst place to go is the breeding ground of zombies. Strolling along the park is a great idea but strolling along a cemetery could result in a zombie grabbing your leg and eventually eating your brains. Play it safe bro/sis – no cemeteries.
- Keep your dog on a leash – Look, dogs have a knack for chasing after things. Zombies are definitely part of that category. By keeping your dog on a leash you will not have to search for them in strange areas where zombies can pounce on you.
If you keep these 5 rules in check you will have no problem staying safe this Halloween and other fearsome days. Happy Halloween everyone!
Folla back y’all! Na.
Posted by Eric Bandholz in Ramblings on October 26, 2009
First the title is in reference to Holla Back by Fabolous and it’s about returning follows on Twitter. When I joined the Twitter party I read everywhere about how it was proper etiquette to follow back the people that followed you. Also, that it was a good idea to request people with hopes they would follow back and that the more the followers the better. Well, after using Twitter for quite sometime I have decided that might not be the best option.
Here are the problems with just following anyone back out of courtesy.
- Increased spam. If you blindly follow people back it seems like half of them are blindly pushing their agenda and thus all their tweets are about them and their services.
- Pushes legit tweets down. When I log into Twitter and see my most recent tweets I rarely see something that is worth a damn. However, when I log on to Facebook I am constantly checking out the news feed. The big difference is that I only connect with friends and family on Facebook and I actually care about what they are posting. I have no personal connections with these random people on Twitter and I don’t see how you can develop that many close relationships with thousands of people.
- I use Twitter less often. I have found that I rarely log into Twitter to see what is going on because I don’t care what people are posting about, and thus I share less about what is going on with me to people who may be interested.
So I no longer concern myself with who follows me. If you care about what I tweet, then follow me – but if you don’t care, then don’t follow me. I will be flattered if you follow me, but I won’t follow back blindly. Ultimately what is the difference between someone not following me and someone that follows me and doesn’t care what I have to tweet? In my mind, nothing.
So with that being said, I have decided to unfollow a significant amount of people. I was following about 750 people but dropped that to 190. The sad part is that shortly after I did this my number of followers went from about 675 to 540 – which means at least 135 people were following me only because I followed them back. However, after using Twitter for the past few days I actually am not finding content relevant to my needs and conversations I care about. It has become a much more worthwhile experience. I also suspect while my number of followers is down, my audience is still the same.
tl;dr – follow me @bandholz 
Signs of an Amateur Entrepreneur
Posted by Eric Bandholz in Ramblings on October 20, 2009
One of my business connections Brandon Uttley from Charlotte has written a great article about not looking professional as a small business startup. It’s really just 7 basic steps that don’t cost much money at all. For the cash strapped I will show you how inexpensive it is to implement these steps.
- No e-mail – This should be included for free with the website, but on it’s own it should be no more than $10/year for the domain (yourcompany.com) and about $5/month for the hosting.
- No website – I can get someone setup with a WordPress based website for about $250 that will look professional and be editable. Hosting (which includes e-mail) should be no more than $5/month. If you are paying more you are getting additional service to help manage it.
- No plan – This is free, just takes your time.
- Work from home – Regus has multiple offices across the nation and you can rent meeting rooms for $12/hour or virtual offices for as little as $49/month. Standard offices from $199/month. Getting an LLC should cost between $100 – $200 depending on the state.
- No business phone – Vonage is about $30/month and you can read more about it on my post here. You can get bundles from your ISP for around the same price.
- No logo – I have seen local and online companies charge from $99 to design a logo. I would recommend discussing this (either on the phone or in person) with a professional to make sure you have an appropriate design. Ultimately the less changes you make to the logo, the less expensive it will be. So go to your designer with a clear concise idea and be prepared to take their advice.
- No business card – This is also a networking mistake as I discussed earlier and business cards can be found online for about $40 for 500 high quality cards.
Total: You are looking at about $970/year to get started (not including office situation). Prorated per month you are looking at about $80/month. If that amount scares you then perhaps being an entrepreneur isn’t the right thing for you.
Follow the link below to read the original article.
Telltale Signs of An Entrepreneur by Brandon Uttley.
6 Rules to Networking
Posted by Eric Bandholz in Ramblings on October 9, 2009
I love networking events. I don’t know if it’s the thrill of meeting new people and hearing interesting stories about what they do, or if it’s just staying up to date in the community events. For me the best events have a free drink ticket included, but that’s not to say the ones that don’t aren’t fun. Sometimes I am a wallflower and afraid to get out and network and other times I am talking to everyone I see about some random topic. I have been to hundreds of events in several different cities and wanted to share some things that I’ve learned. Follow the jump to learn about the 6 Rules to Networking and how they will create success for you at your next events.
1) Find the appropriate event to go to.
2) Bring your business cards – and plenty of them.
3) The paint on the wall isn’t that ugly, don’t try to hide it.
4) Don’t expect to come home with a book of business.
5) Follow up the next day.
6) Repeat.
My first comedy experience
Posted by Eric Bandholz in Ramblings on October 2, 2009
Well, I finally did it. I went to a comedy club to watch some funny people. Here in Spokane there is a local bar called Bluz at the Bend and they have an open mic every Thursday evening. The comedy portion of the bar is called Uncle D’s Underground Comedy and they claim to have professional comedians working on new skits as well as amateurs. Last night appeared to be mostly, if not all amateurs. I have had it on my calendar to go for the past month or so, and for whatever reason haven’t been able to get out there.
The venue is pretty small and intimate with probably about 35 tables and a maximum capacity of 145. I only know that because they had it displayed by the stage. With open mic the comedians sign up to perform on a sheet of paper at 7pm and about 8pm they start the performances. Because of the number of performers, skits range between 5 and 7 minutes. I was half expecting to see performers clam up with stage fright and hecklers booing people off the stage – but it was a fairly friendly crowd. There was one seemingly intoxicated girl in the crowd that kept the comedians honest.
