How to get laid!

Yup, I got you – sex sells! A good friend of mine and sales extraordinaire Mark Burrell use to always tell me how closing a new account is very similar to finding the perfect lover. In this post I’ll explain the different phases of a business relationship and how you can get laid as much as possible with as many different partners as you can (in a business sense of course). The beauty of sales verses your personal life is that you will have less stress while managing more relationships and of course, the more the merrier.

1. First Impression – Your first impression is always very important. In a business sense you must always be on your game and prepared for that first impression. You never know when or where it might happen. Some keys in sales for this are to: dress professional, stay away from religion and politics, be well groomed, and to be interested in the client.
2. Wooing – For many sales people this is the most fun stage – you get to puff up your chest and toot around like you are the best thing since sliced bread. However, that is exactly where many people make their mistake. In your wooing stages (ie first meeting) you need to be focused on the client and their needs. You need to find out what is working for them, and why you are there. Clients invite you into their office because they think they need your products/services, or you are really pushy and they can’t say no. If you got in the door for the latter reason you won’t get to the next base. Dig down deep and find out why you are there and once you figure that you begin to toot your horn and how it relates to their needs.
3. First Date – So the client finally is throwing you a bone and you finally got laid.  In this phase the client will test you out by sending you a quotation or a small project to see how you can perform. This is the most important stage of the process because it is where your words because concrete and they will be able to figure out if your company can actually provide what they need. Be sure to maintain open communication with the client every step of the process to ensure there are no surprises.
4. Officially Together – So you have finally done it – you are officially together. You are now getting laid on a frequent basis and they are picking up the phone when you call them. Congratulations, a job well done. In this phase you can build a terrific relationship which the client will be real happy, but at this phase they are likely also using other vendors. You will want to continue to provide excellent value so you can move the relationship into the marriage phase. Most of your customers will be in this stage.
5. Marriage – This is the holy grail of business relationships. At this point in the relationship your client needs you and their business is dependent on your products/services. You have followed the above steps to perfection and are in a mutual win/win situation. Marriages are difficult and there will be your ups and downs. A key aspect of this stage is to never forget why they are working with you and what your company offers to make their life better. Do not get complacent because in reality you are getting laid more than any other phase and you do not want to take it to the next step.
6. Divorce – Well, you’ve fucked up and in all likely hood they found someone better. This phase can happen at any time and that is why it is important to continue to take care of your customers. The good thing is that the further along a client is in these phases the harder it will be to divorce you. They will be more open to working through hard times and more forgiving for mistakes. Once a divorce has happened second chances will be very difficult.

By thinking of a business relationship like a personal relationship with a significant other you can have another perceptive on how to improve your relationship.  You will now be able to tell where you are in the process and what things are important to your clients.

If you enjoyed this article please pass it along to your friends and/or co-workers.